Friday, February 27, 2009

Reflections today

Random reflections today:
  • I am very glad I took a day off to regroup
  • holy shit, I don't have a job (soon), gasp
  • yeah, I get to recreate myself
  • I feel ok
  • I am ready for, and optimistic, about what comes next
  • I am blown away by all the kind words that have come my way in the last 24 hours
  • 3pm and I am still in my pjs - bliss!
  • there isn't much vodka left from last night
  • good thing I slept in
  • I really should have a nap
  • everywhere I look I see: doodles and travel books
  • my apartment looks like it has been vandalized
  • as I had a smoke on my deck today, I picked up a newspaper section to read, from May 2007!
  • I'm amused that my wireless access is slow today, it's a sign, I really should be doodling instead

All amusing, but I have had another reflection. This job was where I went to get some stability in the final year or so of my sister's life, to have structure and an outlet to grieve her death, and a safe place to refind myself, a different self, as the years passed. She would want this for me now, the courage to walk away and see what life has next, including travelling the world. This time in my life is about moving on from illness, death and grief to life. Hell, I didn't even break down sobbing as I wrote that, there's a change ;-)

1 comment:

MP said...

I envy you, you know?

This is a great opportunity to reinvent. I get that it's scary (I'm half a step there myself) but Europe sounds like a great idea.

I don't know that being in the new world order here is going to be any better. At least you can manufacturer clarity. There's a good amount of mud stirred up in the water and I doubt we'll be running clear for a good long time.

I admire your courage, Roberta. I often wished I could just rip up roots and go myself but I've never found the strength to do so.