Recent art

Realize I have been posting very little of my own art of late. I'm always meaning to get better pics, sign or watermark, list for sale, blah, blah, blah... so post very little. BUT I have been creating like crazy, mostly on blank playing cards, and involving stamp collage. I'm in the ACEO arena here, and will probably sell as such on eBay soon. Might even dust off my old Etsy store. But, for now, creating and not worrying about all that.

COVID Diary 3

I've been reflecting on what I do and don't like about keeping a diary through this.

I have mixed feelings.

I thought at first that it might be interesting to record the experience of a solo who is pretty content overall. I wasn't having trouble isolating.

By recording my experiences, it's both helped and made things harder.

Helped in that it has made me more aware of what I am feeling, I am noticing nuances that might have slipped by me before. And I'm definitely being present.

Made things harder in that by being more present, I am not distancing from my feelings. It is pretty easy for me to get into a zone, and not really examine what is going on all around me, to let it wash over me, and just be. This is forcing me to notice, and by doing so, stuff is coming up more. I am more aware, but I'm also having to process more. That's not a bad thing, but it's a harder thing.

In the end, it is better to be present and process as I go, but I miss the 'luxury' of being able to get into a zone for days at a a time, largely untouched by outside factors. I've also had something personal open up my heart a bit, and that is naturally making my emotions closer to the surface.

Yesterday this manifested in me feeling terribly sad... hardly surprising considering the number of crisis and trauma floating in the ether (pandemic, Nova Scotia shootings, the downed Forces helicopter), coupled with my awareness of friends who are experiencing loss. What got me was hearing the emotions of a journalist after speaking to the mother of one of those lost in the helicopter crash. Not that I am stoic, but I usually like to know the stories; it feels like a way to honour those who have been scarred or who have left us. But I hit a limit yesterday, and it stuck right there in my throat. As I was feeling this, and doodling, I found a tragic face making itself visible on the page, a crying eye, and bringing it out brought everything to the surface.

I am fortunate in that I have skills learned from many years in therapy that I can turn to when I get emotional or stuck. I wasn't yet at the stage of being overwhelmed, let alone panicked, but I have a deep knowledge that even if it gets that bad, I can cope with it. I can process it, I can work it out. This gives me a lot of strength when the chips are down.

The time I learned this was upon my arrival in Athens in 2009, and I had a big dose of culture shock. I felt traumatized and it went very deep. It wasn't so much Athens itself, but I was vulnerable, and something tilted, and I was not doing well. It took me a couple of days to work through it, I think, but I was able to figure out what was going on, and dug deep to find myself, rescue me, and get grounded again. I write about that a bit in my blog (Arrival in Athens and Chocolate, worry beads and a Greek rainstorm), and although I did not reveal a lot, I remember what a mess I was. That experience has taught me how resilient I really am. And the knowledge of that has helped me a few times in recent years, when I hit a wall. In the present, I wasn't there (yet), was just feeling emotional, but I was reminded of this, and it gave me comfort.

In the end yesterday, I worked it through a bit, then mostly distracted myself for the day (with all news off), and gave myself time.

Today, I feel much better.... but it's also what inspired me to think about how documenting at this time is helping me, and not helping.

Not helping? No, it's not that. It can never be a bad thing to be present and to deal with one's stuff, but it IS harder.

Harder isn't a bad thing.

I think I'd rather have it be harder, and have to work it through, than not feel anything at all, or feel oblivious.

It's all good, it's all good....

A new year's post

Thank you to everyone who had to put up with me through one of my toughest years. As an eternal optimist, it has been surprising and disorienting to find myself as an often emotional blithering idiot. Understandable, perhaps, but deeply humbling.

Looking forward to a new year.

BTW, I am bringing my doodle blog back to live, to share some of the things I've been creating. Check it out:

• Beepdoodles

Reflections on 2 years

First, a few photos taken on a recent trip to Vancouver:

Today, May 1st, is an anniversary of sorts. I have lived here in Sidney for a year. I arrived by ferry from Vancouver a year ago yesterday, April 30th. A full year before that, on April 30, 2009, I worked my last day at my corporate job. So much has happened in those two years, so much of it not what I would have imagined, but it's all good, life is a journey...

Some random reflections at this point:

• I never would have dreamed that I would be blogging from my art studio. Art was just a random thing then, I doodled a lot, and wanted to explore where it would take me, but it's very much taken on a life beyond what I had been doing then....


• I have my first art show this month. No. That's not quite right. I am showing my art TWICE this month.


• I have a cat, now there is a surprise.


• While I have done occassional contract work, I have not had a "job" for 2 whole years. Wow!

Gee, thought I was going to sit down and write some long and brilliant post, yet, my fingers have stilled on the keyboard. So, will post these random thoughts, and say more another time.

Oh, I do try to udpate my beepdoodles blog more frequently these days, and that's where you can see what kind of art I am doing, where I am selling and showing stuff, etc etc.

Best Bar Moments in Venice

Yes, I was in Harry's bar! Had a bellini, of course. Very good. At 15E a pop they'd better be good! :-) So, what did I do next? Had another, of course! LOL, most expensive drinks of my life, but so worth it. I did take another picture inside the bar, but then I got in trouble - no pictures of the patrons (oops! was only trying to take a pic of the waiters...), eek! But I didn't kicked out ;-)I did a little Harry's Bar doodle which my bow-tied waiter took a photocopy of! He wouldn't accept the original, so this is my first doodle left behind in Europe of which I still have the original. One day, it might be worth millions, LOL. Anyways, another total spluge, but so worth it. Not familiar with the story of Harry's Bar? It opened in 1931 and has a really fascinating history and is often referred to as one of the best bars in the world. And it's where the Bellini was invented... It's worth dropping by the Harry's Bar website for the full story, including how the bar became to be named Harry's and the founder's adventures with Ernest Hemingway. Also, read The Perfect Bellini for more bellini inside secrets.

The bar has the coolest doors... as a person goes in, there is a little curve in the etched innner glass and you cannot see the others inside the bar. My doodle above includes the reverse side of this door.

Now a bit about the bar I found at the end of my first day in Venice, which was veeerry special... Just look at this:

After my gondola ride, I wandered aimlessly for awhile, until I saw a vaporetti stop then got on, meaning to go to Rialto. But along the way I saw the most charming little canalside bar adjacent to another vaporetti stop, so I jumped off (well, I waited until the vaparetto stopped first) and I went for a glass of wine. There were only half a dozen tables up against the front of a charming hotel and all that was in front was the canal. There wasn't even any pedestrian traffic, as the corner table was on a small canal intersection (although a few people tried!). There was only one other table occupied. My first glass of wine was so quiet and relaxing. A totally peaceful spot, just the sound of the waves and the passing boats. And the occassional singing gondalier, or the sounds of an accordian if someone brought a musician along on their gondalier ride to serenade them. (here is a pic of the bar from the Grand Canal taken the next day).

My second glass of wine was as enjoyable but much more interesting. Began chatting with the two gentlemen sitting at the other table, and they eventually came and sat with me. They were from Cambridge in the UK and were quite lovely. It was their second trip to Venice but their first night in their hotel this trip, and they were most delighted with their room: same view, directly above the hotel doors with a little balcony. Said their room was a little suite. It sounded heavenly. We chatted about travel, and a bit about photography. Philip, the talkative one, had met a photographer who had been setting up waiting for the pre-sunset light when I walked past; it turns out he was Canadian too - Philip thought he was from Vancouver too, but by this point he had gone. A small world. Anyways, I enjoyed meeting them (the other guy was Richard).

We joked that we might see each other the next day at the same time. Almost went, but decided to go to Harry's Bar instead....

Both bars are top pics for me in Venice!

Random Pics and Reflections from Rome

Time is ticking, I have seen so much of Rome, and still more to see... So just a quick post with some random pics and reflections...

Me at Trevi fountain:
I did not have the chicken, but perhaps if I did I would have felt eternally peaceful...

How this shoeboxed sized kiosk has an internet cafe and laundry service beats me...

Insanely brave tourists!

Amore everywhere....

Cats amid the ruins...

My friend Zoey at the cat sanctuary...

Kitty trinkets for sale at the cat sanctuary...

Early doodle upon my arrival in Roma:

Gladiator on his coffee break....

Random reflections:

• I had the most bizarre trip to the doctor in my life. Diagnosis for my lingering cough: "Is OK". At that point the visit was over.
• If it's raining hard and there are huge taxi lineups, go for a Limoncella and get your palm read instead
• Limoncella really is wonderful and gives a cold a good quick kick in the ass
• The cafe downstairs knows my order by now and I get a huge greeting when I arrive - and I get to pick a different cornetta every day (Italian name for crissant)
• If you impulsively order a bowl of soup after seeing it served at the adjacent table, you might pay more for it than your meal: pesto spaghetti 8E, mushroom soup 10E - but it was really good
• At Trevi fountain, there are guys with modern Polaroid-type cameras who will take your pic for a fee (skip it, more fun to take your own self-portrait and swap cameras with other tourists; other wandering sales guys: tripods and roses
• If it rains, entrepreneuring guys selling umbrellas magically appear everywhere - spent 10E for a lime green folding umbrella that I'll leave behind for my flatmate here (note to self: actually carry small lightweight folding umbrella lugged from Canada in purse when rain is forecast!)
• Pizza by the slice places here sell by weight; you point to the pizza you want and gesture how much you want cut off (with scissors!); if you take it to go, they fold it in half and wrap it so you can eat it as you walk
• My travel budget is thankful that the darling deep jade green suede/leather boots that caught my eye did not come in my size
• Proven gelatto combination: limone, fragola, stracitella
• Buffallo mozzerella is to die for
• Rome streets really are madness!

Recent experiences have included:

• National Museum of Rome
• Vatican Museums night tour

Will write soon on some of these, and other earlier experiences....

Off to Florence on Friday for 4 nights, then onto Venice for 2 nights, then I fly from then to Berlin on October 1st...

For now, it's a beautiful day (after many rainy ones), so I am heading out to explore...

A lazy Sunday day at Paris Plages

Sunday I spent a lazy day, culminating in a visit to Paris Plages, where they turn the banks of the Seine into a beach for a month or so each summer....

My doodle done over dinner, which I ended up giving to the couple sitting next to me who admitted they had been waiting to see what it was like when I finished...
My view as the sun went down, from my river side seat....

This is the crepe cafe where I was seated... I had one of the little seats facing the river (unlike the guy who skippped the fenc). Met this cool Parisian man, 77 and a happy bachelor, who told me all about life in Paris and his travels. LOVED this location, and will return again...

Awesome sandcastle... gave the guy a good tip to encourage his art....

Just a little guy under one of the bridges....

This guy was playing old cylinders on a crank box, and had sheet music for people to sing along...

How to get a good drink from the water fountain....

Cool comic guy, he really was hilarious....

Cool dude does ball tricks...

Just a Seine side scene...

That's all 4 now... with special thanks to my friend Bryan who knows Paris well and thought I would enjoy coming to Paris in August for just this reason......

Barcelona reflections under the stars

Sometimes it gets windy here...
My big purchase one day, for 4.77E. The wine was 1.79E and it's pretty good.

Shopping cart secured parking lot inside the local grocery store....

The place where I got my pedicure....

You would be forgiven for thinking this store sold ferrets.... those are toilet seats in the window.

This is a doodle I did today in a cafe, ended up giving it to my waiter who was admiring it - so snapped a pic first...

I am sitting outside under the stars with my laptop blogging. It's 10pm and quite lovely, the sky is still fading so I can see blue, but the stars are starting to twinkle. When I see the Big Dipper here it makes me realize the world isn't so large afterall...

So, 2 more nights in Barcelona, and just one more full day. So what have I been doing? Not scrambling around seeing as many final things as I can. Nope. I'm chillin'. I came to the realization the other day that there is still so much I want to see here that I am going to come back, most likely in January. So that took any pressure off. And I've been taking advantage of the relaxed mood I have been in, to sleep, to doodle and to read. And journal. And just be. It turns out that I had a whole lot more decompressing to do that I thought, but I have been trusting my inner voice and just going with the flow.

Barcelona really is a great setting off point for a long journey, as it is so relaxed here. I would consider starting off a future Europe trip here too.

But, with time ticking down, I realize there are lots of reflections and memories that I want to capture before I move on, as once I do, I am sure they will slip away. I'll actually have a good collection of assorted bits to look back on this trip: this blog, my journals (both in notebooks that I always carry with me and often write in cafes - and some stuff written electronically), emails I've sent people, letters, and even postcards. And doodles. And loads of pics. There hasn't been a day so far when I haven't taken at least one pic.

So, I expect I'll do a few blog posts in the next couple of days...

Some random reflections:

• When you go into an inside ATM here, there is a little lever that you can put across the door so no one else can get in - that's just SO smart!
• I missed a good one today: Jess and Sean (my flatmates) were down at the beach today beside a couple that were seriously making out, as in "oh wow!" - went on for hours... aside of the interlude where the girl clipped the guy's toenails (an all out pedicure) before they got back to it
• They also had a good story of a couple all out making out on the bus: girl straddling the guy's lap.... things are kinda relaxed here...
• I was surprised how many people here have asked me for a light... who smokes and doesn't carry a lighter? It's rare to be asked this at home... finally figured out they were all guys, maybe it's a way to chat up the women?
• I'm surprised at the number of little bars that don't have soap in their bathrooms... the health department here isn't doing a great job on swine flu prevention - and I haven't seen a hand sanitizer station here anywhere
• Was woken up at 3am one night by explosions - I couldn't see anything, but the next day Mabel told me that it was fireworks a couple of streets over... at 3am on a weekday night? lol
• It's midnight and there is the loudest scrapy clanging garbage truck doing it's pickup

More later...