Sunday, December 04, 2016

"GO" and the social media lexicon

I just witnessed a couple of people jump all over someone for using "GO" as a discussion starter in a Facebook community. I saw the question, and was curious about what responses it solicited, but was surprised to see the thread highjacked over the way the question was asked. The judgers blasted her for adding the word "GO" after her question, calling it rude and unprofessional. Their very reaction made it obvious that they had little or no social media exposure beyond The Facebook Bubble, as this is a relatively common way to kick off brainstorming. The woman who innocently asked the question is probably quite taken aback by the reaction, and may never ask a question again! I see that the moderator has tried to reign things in, but the damage has been done.

If you only live in the bubble, that's ok (though I'm glad it's not me), but be gentle on others, and don't be so quick to judge. If you see a term or approach like this used multiple times (I gather this isn't the first time they've got their knickers in a knot about this), p-a-u-s-e, and get curious.

Get curious. Ask yourself what is going on that you aren't aware of? If people are starting to use jargon, or communicate in a certain way, it's a CLUE. Notice the pattern. Get curious.

Instead of getting your back up and hijacking the discussion, why not reflect on what you observe, as in, "Interesting, another person has asked a question, then typed GO, what's up with that? I thought at first it was rude, or even unprofessional, but now that I've heard it again, I wonder if I am missing something.... Is that how people are initiating discussions these days? It must be coming from somewhere, but it's new to me. I don't really like it, but I can't control it, so I may as well ignore it, and focus instead on what the person asked..." Or something like that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What do you think?

By the way, it's not lost on me that I am judging the judgers here. I love irony.

I've started hunting down something written on the use of "GO" in this context... In the meantime, I'm finding some other resources on social media terms, which I've posted below,

Social Media Glossary - Agility PR
The Definitive List of Social Media Acronyms and Abbreviations, Defined - Buffer Social
The Social Media Glossary: 226 Essential Definitions - Hootsuite
Social Media Glossary: Top 100 Words and Phrases - Socialbrite

Saturday, December 03, 2016

Where I grew up

I was applying for a writing gig recently, and was asked to write a couple of paragraphs about where I grew up. I had to do it off the top of my head, with no time to think about it, just using a few prompts, so I thought I would save it.

I grew up in Valleyview, a subdivision of Kamloops, in the interior of British Columbia. As kids, we were free to amuse ourselves outdoors, and there was a great gang of kids. Our house was situated at the foot of steep clay "cliffs" (they were hills really), covered with sagebrush. We spent countless hours had climbing the hills behind the houses across the street, hiding behind the sagebrush and spying down at the people below.

One of my favourite things to do was ride my bike to the drive-in theatre and to meet my friends and hang out. At night, we would try to watch the movies through the fence, always hopeful that we'd hear the soundtrack from a car with the speakers turned up loud, but mostly just heard random bits of conversation or music when someone opened a car door. During the day we could go right in, where we'd look for coins in the grass and play with the speakers, though we heard only static.

We practically lived outside, right down to the picnic table in the backyard where we ate most of our meals. We'd often have sweet, juicy watermelon for dessert and, being outdoors, it was the perfect place to spit watermelon seeds at each other. Sadly, my big brother had a much better aim. But still, I tried. No wonder our mom wanted us to eat outdoors!

Monday, November 21, 2016


-ology, a suffix derived from the Greek logos,
meaning the 'study of', 'specialty in' or 'art of' a given scientific or medical field.

Found a great list of "onologies" this morning. These caught my eye:

Aphnology = Wealth
Apiology = Bees
Argyrothecology = Moneyboxes
Batology = Brambles (not bees?!)
Cereology = Crop circles
Deltiology = Postcards
Dendrochronolgy = Tree growth rings
Enterology = The intestines
Eremology = Deserts
Escapology = Escape from confinement
Gizmology = Technological gadgetry
Hippology = Horses (not hippos?)
Ichnology = Fossil footprints
Latrinology = Writings on toilet walls
Lipsology = Lip prints
Mellittology = Bees
Nidology = Bird's nests
Numismatology = Coins & medals
Odology = The mystical force of od
Odonatology = Dragonflies
Omnibology = Motorbuses (always wondered about the roots of "omnibus")
Pachydermatology = Elephant skin
Palaeometeorology = Past patterns of global atmospheric transport
Palaeotempestology = Ancient storms
Pelology = Mud as a therapy
Pharology = Lighthouses
Phrenology = Skull form as indication of character
Plangonology = Dolls
Plutology = Wealth (if you can't be a planet...)
Pogonology = Beards
Psephology = Elections & voting (timely)
Pterylology = The arrangement of bird's feathers
Ptochology = Pauperism & unemployment
Punnology = Puns
Rabdology = Arithmetic using Napier's Bones
Rumpology = Fortune telling by reading the rump
Tartarology = Hell
Teleseismology = Tremors due to distant earthquakes
Timbrology = Postage stamps
Tsiganology = Gypsies
Typtology = Spirit rappings
Vexillology = Flags

List of onologies

Friday, November 18, 2016

Still the thrill of being a travel agent

It's been almost 4 years, and still I sometimes get such a thrill out of the realization that I am a travel agent.

Today it hit me when I started work on a request for one of my favourite clients, a business student, who needs flights for a job she starts in January. She's in Tokyo right now, returns for Christmas, and needs to be in Heidenheim de Brenz, Germany, in early January. There is a bit of flexibility on dates, but not much.

So, where is Heidenheim de Brenz, you say? Me too.

Once I found out where the town was, I had to figure out what airport is closest, with good transportation to the smaller town. That would be Stuttgart Airport (STR), but roundtrip flights from Victoria are a little pricey, so I am sitting down now to explore more options.

Next stop: Rome to Rio (great tool!)

I absolutely LOVE this stuff.

Sure, it's not the stuff I make the most on, but that doesn't matter.

Saturday, November 12, 2016

RIP Leonard Cohen

Click to enlarge if you want to see any of the lyrics, photos of Leonard or my doodle
Like many, I am saddened by the news of Leonard Cohen's passing. Not unexpected, really, but stunning that he was still producing new music right up to the end. If you haven't heard it, listen to the interview from a few weeks back on Q (CBC) with his son Adam, on how they completed his last album together. 

I haven't purchased the new album, yet, but I have the prior album and have been listening to it almost non-stop for the past couple of months. I'm not sure why, but I have found it compelling, matched to my mood, and just "right".

Only now do I realize how timely it has been.

Long live his music and artistic works.

And I look forward to how we shall all be awash in documentaries, interviews and music for some time to come, as his life is celebrated.

Wednesday, November 09, 2016

This is democracy

It's not my country, but... This is democracy. And sometimes democracy produces a result you don't like.

Still so shocked. Even I cried last night.

Saturday, November 05, 2016

I love Amber Alerts

Around 6pm last night, I heard the alarm for an Amber Alert on my radio, while driving my car. Heard it a few more times in the evening. And a text. 2 kids abducted by a parent in Port Coquitlam.

Probably around 10 or 11pm last night I heard the news that the Amber Alert had been cancelled. They nabbed her in Sicamous at a gas station (story).
AMBER is officially a backronym for America's Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response, but was named for Amber Hagerman, a 9 year-old abducted and murdered in Arlington, Texas, in 1996.

The shimmer of hope, and good, rising out of the tragedy, was the initiative by Amber's mom, Donna, to create the movement that resulted in the lifesaving alert system.

Sunday, October 30, 2016

Sophie's Baby Forget-Me-Not

Sophie's Baby Forget-Me-Not invention
This smart kid, Sophie, has invented a do-it-yourself device parents can put together, with $12 worth of parts, to eliminate any possibility of forgetting their baby in the car. She calls it Baby Forget-Me-Not.

Love it.

4th Grader Invents Device So Parents Won’t Forget Their Baby In the Car

Saturday, October 29, 2016


This is a d120. It's new, and very fetching. It's also a "technically correct" die, coming out of the world of mathematic-geeks. I learned about it via the New Yorker:

"The d120 is a polyhedron, more specifically a disdyakis triacontahedron, a geometric creature first described by the French-Belgian mathematician Eugène Catalan in 1865..." (read more)

Along the way, I found websites that sell dice: d120's, classic d6's, and everything inbetween. BIG ONES, small ones. Round ones, misshapen ones. Every colour you can think of. Dice with symbols, written numerals, letters, including other alphabets.

And my favourite: blank dice. I can't wait to get some for doodling fun... Best of all? The aren't expensive!

The dice you never knew you wanted - The NewYorker
This d120 is the largest mathematically fair die possible - The Nerdist
The Dice Shop - MathArtFun
Sex dice (yes, there is/are such a thing!)

Monday, August 01, 2016

I could be anywhere

Little girl chasing sparrows. 2 boys occupying a Starbucks table (no drinks) and playing on their smartphones. Someone's dog, tied up, calling for them to return. 2 older ladies talking (are they older? or are they my age?); actually just 1 is talking. 3rd pregnant lady I've seen. A couple older guys (yes, older), watching the short shorts go by. All manner of people going into the bank.

The odd mix of comers and goers, and lingerers, at a mall entrance. I could be anywhere. But I am here, sitting at an outdoor table at a Starbucks, outside a mall entrance, while my sister shops. I have no patience for shopping, but this is ok. No newspapers though, so on my iPad. Not proud of it. But it is what it is. Need to start carrying a journal with me, and something to read. ...

Another interloper at the table next to me. This time a lady with her Tim Horton's coffee and box of TimBits, right under the Starbucks umbrella...

I don't want to make assumptions, but a taxi has arrived, unloading a family, the women wearing burkas (or hijabs?), matching big, surprisingly bright .pink purses. A couple men. Cute kid. Makes it easy to smile at them. Iranian refugees? Again, I don't want to assume, but in feeling good about what my country has done, I wonder. Glad to see more diversity. And its only by seeing more head coverings do we normalize. I don't want to take extra notice. I don't want them to feel observed and noticed, anymore than anyone else. There was a time when face coverings made me uncomfortable, not entirely sure why, but it has eased. Being educated has helped, and there has been lots of coverage, interviews and so on. I'd hope everyone is learning.

Someone has (finally) come about the dog. A by-law officer? Thankfully, they never left him in a car, but he was left too long. I do see someone protesting, so perhaps the dog's human has arrived. Some other people who were keeping the dog company, and feeding him water, have left. The officer is writing out a ticket. Good. The woman/human is actually arguing with him. She has the leash, so the dog is getting to go home with the human he loves, but I hope she is listening and learning. Interesting, it was a woman with 2 kids. The officer spent at least 20 minutes with them, I presume making sure the woman understood. I hope the kids got it, and will protest if mom tries something like that again. And the dog seemed fine.

The table next to me now occupied by a young couple with a (quiet) baby in a stroller. Starbucks drinks. A few scooters and wheelchairs, a woman pushing an oxygen tank on wheels. I could be any of those, if I don't start taking care of myself. Couple gone, now a guy in a ball cap and sunglasses. And smartphone.

Are we dumb to live with the smartphone? Probably, says I, after just checking mine for email.

A guy in a fluorescent orange tank top ties up his bike. Smart garb. Smart guy.

Write, just write. Its true.

Oh, how I crave to be alone. I would write if I were alone.

Can one write when one isn't alone? I don't know.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

If airlines sold paint

  • Customer: Hi, how much is your paint?
  • Clerk: Well, sir, that all depends.
  • Customer: Depends on what?
  • Clerk: Actually, a lot of things.
  • Customer: How about giving me an average price?
  • Clerk: Wow, that's too hard a question. The lowest price is $9 a gallon, and we have 150 different prices up to $200 a gallon.
  • Customer: What's the difference in the paint?
  • Clerk: Oh, there isn't any difference, it's all the same paint.
  • Customer: Well, then, I'd like some of that $9 paint.
  • Clerk: First I need to ask you a few questions. When do you intend to use it?
  • Customer: I want to paint tomorrow, on my day off.
  • Clerk: Sir, the paint for tomorrow is $200 paint.
  • Customer: What? when would I have to paint in order to get $9 paint?
  • Clerk: That would be in three weeks, but you will also have to agree to start painting before Friday of that week and continue painting until at least Sunday
  • Customer: You've got to be kidding!
  • Clerk: Sir, we don't kid around here. Of course, I'll have to check to see if we have any of that paint available before I can sell it to you.
  • Customer: What do you mean check to see if you can sell it to me? You have shelves full of that stuff; I can see it right there.
  • Clerk: Just because you can see it doesn't mean that we have it. It may be the same paint, but we sell only a certain number of gallons on any given weekend. Oh, and by the way, the price just went up to $12.
  • Customer: You mean the price went up while we were talking?
  • Clerk: Yes sir. You see, we change prices and rules thousands of times a day, and since you haven't actually walked out of the store with your paint yet, we just decided to change. Unless you want the same thing to happen again, I would suggest you get on with your purchase. How many gallons do you want?
  • Customer: I don't know exactly. Maybe five gallons. Maybe I should buy six gallons just to make sure I have enough.
  • Clerk: Oh, no sir, you can't do that. If you buy the paint and then don't use it, you will be liable for penalties and possible confiscation of the paint you already have.
  • Customer: What?
  • Clerk: That's right. We can sell you enough paint to do your kitchen, bathroom, hall and north bedroom, but if you stop painting before you do the other bedroom, you will be in violation of our tariffs.
  • Customer: But what does it matter to you whether I use all of the paint? I already paid you for it!
  • Clerk: Sir, there's no point in getting upset; that's just the way it is. We make plans based upon the idea that you will use all of the paint, and when you don't, it just causes us all sorts of problems.
  • Customer: This is crazy! I suppose something terrible will happen if I don't keep painting until Sunday night?
  • Clerk: Yes sir, it will.
  • Customer: Well, that does it! I am going somewhere else to buy paint!
  • Clerk: That won't do you any good, sir. We all have the same rules. You might as well just buy it here, while the price is now $13.50.Thanks for flying -- I mean painting -- with our airline.
Found it here.

Sunday, June 26, 2016


A favourite memory from my month in Paris, when I
stumbled on this Chagall ceiling during my
unplanned visit to the Opera Garnier
I am impatient.
I want to travel.
I need to travel.
So hard to wait for things to be settled.
So tired of being grounded.
So tired of scraping by.
Outwardly, all well.
Inwardly, mostly well too.
But I have moments of feeling trapped.
So tired of feeling like a foreigner in my own life.
So tired of not being able to take off on a whim.
For some time I made peace with it.
But now, I'm just tired of it. Fed up. Impatient.
At moments like this. I am holding on by a thread.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Solo Travel News - June 25, 2016

With so many solo travellers looking for affordable ways to travel, without the dreaded single supplement, I am always watching for specials. Periodically, when I have time, I summarize a few into an email to send to those who may be interested. Here is a sample:

One of amusing cruise ship related BrExit memes
Image by "Brighty", found on Bruce on Politics
Welcome to summer!

This continues to be a GREAT time to travel as a solo.

Thinking of Europe? With yesterday's news of the United Kingdom leaving the European Union, we can expect prices to drop on hotels in London, as well as throughout continental Europe. Combined with the already soft cruise market in Europe, the time to travel to Europe is now!! Fabulous deals abound. Contact me if you want me to take a look for anything.


For those of you looking for a bargain, here are a few cruise deals that I see right now (CAD)... [read the rest on my cruisetravelbug blog].

Sunday, June 05, 2016

Discovering San Miguel de Allende

I am reading a book about some expats who moved to the village of San Miguel de Allende: On Mexican Time: A New Life In San Miguel.

Interesting: Toller Cranston's home in
San Miguel when he was still alive
I confess I started in the middle, when they impulsively bought a house on the last day of their stay in the remote village. I was hooked.

Now I have returned to the beginning to read their full story. At the same time, I am learning more about this charming village. I've heard of it a few times now, so I am becoming more curious... [read what I learned on my Travels with Roberta blog]

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

I will write your blog posts

I am now offering my blog writing services on Fiverr.

View my services: I will write your blog posts

I currently write for and manage 2 blogs (other than my own), so it's nice to expand this work. Hoping to get travel related topics!

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Discovering Huacachina

Located near Ica, Huacachina is a tiny oasis town surrounding a small natural lake and itself surrounded by towering sand dunes. Once a playground for the Peruvian elite, these days Huacachina mostly attracts international tourists. The big draw here is the opportunity to sand board and taking dune buggy rides on the sand dunes.

Something I came across while foing research for a client. Fascinated. Would be interesting to visit...

23 Top Tourist Attractions in Peru
Haucachina, the desert oasis -
Huacachina - Wikipedia

Monday, May 16, 2016

Monday morning

Here it is, my 2nd week of not working Mondays, and I am .... working. Sleepy-eyed.

It's not a big deal, as I volunteered because the office was short, but boy am I appreciating that this is no longer my schedule!

The doodle above is made up of the image below, in miniature. It's something I do on my iPad. I suppose it is a mashup, of sorts.

MashUp 1+2

My mashup of MashUp pics
It is so hard to believe that it has been more than 3 years since I have been off the rock.

Sitting on the ferry, it feels so natural, yet it also feels like a bit of a time warp. A definite prelude to what I will feel in downtown Vancouver today. As I am going to be within 2 blocks of where I last lived (7 years ago!), it will be so familiar, yet also slightly off kilter, as so many little things will have changed, let alone big ones.

I am headed over to Vancouver to see the last day of the bottom 2 floors of the big MashUp exhibit at the Vancouver Art Gallery. Late last night I happened to notice that today is the last day of the exhibit on these 2 floors, so off I go.

. . .

On the ferry home. Tired but not exhausted. Filled up with art, and the breath of Vancouver on my skin.

Vancouver wasn't as different this time, as it was when I came home from 7 months in Europe, as the city was gearing up for the Olympics. Aside from the new Compass Card for transit, it was still my Vancouver.

Lots of reflecting on missing the city. Vancouver energizes me, makes me feel alive. I could downtown again, in a heartbeat, if I could afford it. Little matter, I'm fresh into a 1-year lease on my apartment, and sick of moving. And busy building my travel business. But it makes me think.

Got myself a Vancouver Art Gallery membership again, and will be back and forth. There are still 2 floors of that exhibit to see, and I might enjoy a visit each. There are Picassos on the 4th floor I haven't seen! Then a juicy Picasso exhibit starting not long after.

Sunday, May 15, 2016

Picasso Exhibits 2016

An enlargement of Picasso's 1934 sculpture,
The Bust of Sylvette
(read how I tracked it down in NYC)
Late last night I happened to be scouting about for Picasso exhibits this year, thinking I may travel to one, if a destination appeals (yeah to being able to travel again soon!). Imagine my surprise and delight to learn about the PICASSO: The Artist and His Muses exhibit coming to the VAG June 11 to October 2, 2016. FANTASTIC!!!

I have followed Picasso on my travels, visiting special Picasso exhibits in Aix-en-Provence, Barcelona, and New York.... I have visited Picasso museums in Barcelona, Berlin and Paris.... I have also tracked down Picassos in the permanent collections of museums in Madrid and several in New York (and I'm sure I am forgetting some!).... I do love Picasso!

PICASSO: The Artist and His Muses
June 11 to October 2, 2016
Vancouver Art Gallery
PICASSO: The Artist and His Muses Exhibit info
Muses explored in Picasso exhibit coming to Vancouver Art Gallery


The Barnes Foundation Premieres Major New Picasso Exhibition In Philadelphia

Picasso: Genie Without a Pedestal
Musée des Civilisations de l'Europe et de la Méditerranée, Marseille
April 27 to August 29, 2016

Picasso – Shape Transformations, 1895-1972
Hungarian National Gallery, Budapest
April 21 to July 31, 2016

Picasso Portraits
National Portrait Gallery, London
October 6, 2016 to February 5, 2017
A brush with Picasso: rare portraits to be displayed in London


So sad I missed these:
Picasso Sculpture, September 14, 2015–February 7, 2016 at the MoMa
Picasso Exhibit at MoMa

Some of my Picasso experiences

Monday, May 09, 2016

Hello Monday!

Today I return to one of my favourite Mondays.

I am "off" work, meaning I am not scheduled to be in the office. I may still very well work part of the day, but I can do it at my pace, when/where I want. And this is how I'll be living my life going forward. Yeah!

I developed an affection for Mondays back when I first began working for myself. It became a day when I'd ease into my week, with no meetings, lots of free time for planning, errands, prep work, creative endeavours, and so on. I loved "my kind of Mondays" because they'd work for me, no matter what was going on for me.

If I was having a hard time getting motivated after the weekend, I'd pick up my business mail, hit Starbucks to read the paper, journal, plan my week, and so on. I would frequent several different coffee places wherever I lived, but I'd usually pick Starbucks for my Monday mornings. There was enough of a work-week buzz with people picking up their morning fix for me to catch on, and get in the flow.

If I'd been working full-tilt, and having more trouble slowing down than getting motivated, my Monday routine would create room for me to pause, catch my breath, reflect and re-prioritize. Mondays worked because they gave me the confidence that I could ramp up my week, and manage my commitments.

As someone who resists routine, I find it interesting that I created rituals that gave me structure. At the time, I would have told you that the days was open, with no plans - and I needed it to feel that way - but in reality I'd have these things I'd like to do, places I liked to go, rituals that nourished me.

I think it was one of my secrets to being successful working for myself. And whenever I took on full-time work for a few months or years, it was the first thing I'd re-create for myself as soon as I had the opportunity to scale back my days.

So looking forward to my new form of Mondays here, at the same time I am setting up my home office again, in yet another new place (in more ways than one).

Hello Monday morning!

Friday, May 06, 2016

Discovering Pietrasanta

I first heard of Pietrasanta when I was reading about tours to Carrara, where there are marble quarries. I never really thought about visiting a quarry before, but when I think of all the amazing marble sculptures and architecture in Italy, I became intrigued. More about that later, but when I stumbled across references to Pietrasanta as "the city of sculpture" I was hooked. I wanted to learn more... [read what I learned on my Travels with Roberta blog]

Wednesday, May 04, 2016


Not even crash landed, but close. The chaos continued to the end. "Just cleaning" and loose ends turned into an all-day affair, with me barely functioning. As I thought I wasn't needed - aside of picking up my sister and a few last things (we had cleaners for the big chores) - my body went into exhausted relaxation and pain Sunday night, finally letting go. We both (my body and I) got quite the shock when I learned I was needed at the house early Monday afterall... and instead of being done noon-ish, it went on until late afternoon. I think I would have been ok if I hadn't prematurely let myself feel the relief of letting go, but as it was, I was in agony. It was also a hot day, up to 24c I gather. At one point I thought I was going to pass out. With no furniture left, I retreated to the rather unpleasant garage to sit on a stair. Later in the day, I had a couple naps in the car (parked in the shade). It was an odd day, as I was needed, but also needed to keep out of the way, as my sister was directing the cleaners, and wanted to go through and pack the remaining things herself. Maybe it was harder to ok at half-pace than full tilt... Anyways, the day was a pseudo form of torture... I just wanted to throw the last things in the car, trash the rest, and just go! It's exceedingly hard to force oneself to be patient and forgiving when impatience is surging in one's veins.
While I stayed there for 6 years, my mom's home had been my sister's second home for much longer than that, and at one point there was a thought of her staying there, so it was a much bigger deal or her to leave than me. She'd also found a cool cleaner who finished with a smudging ceremony, which can't be rushed.
Anyways, barely survived, and drove away with an overfilled car, even leaving a couple things with neighbors. Gack.
But it is done.
A nice sense of closure was still there, despite my exhaustion.
Oh, and the dumpster bin was overloaded!
And today began a new phase in my life. Hmmm.

Sunday, May 01, 2016

Robins, hummingbirds and moving on...

The end is near. Today the last load of straggler boxes and random stuff will get moved over, thanks to a generous neighbor. That's not the only neighbor gesture today... two are coming to disconnect appliances and haul them into our dumpster bin, along with yard stuff (part of our sale criteria).  A late ah-ha was that although the house wull be orn down, we still need to clean it. So cleaner in the morning.
Anyways, thse are the surface things.
What's important are the special moments over the past few days:
My sister, brother and I hanging out Friday, sorting, laughing, storytelling, remembering and goofing around. At one point, the big coloured dots used to organize boxes ended up on our foreheads. After the joke was done, I noticed we still all wore them for an hour or two, each in our own way, holding ono the moment, cherishing the connection.
Just being in the house ~ really so cute ~ listening to the birds, enjoying the trees, feeling mom's energy.
Enjoying the back deck my brother built with cedar from his own sawmill up the coast, sharing memories of how much mom loved it. She and I sat there many nights, drinking hot chocolate under the stars...
My sister and I watching the wee hummingbird yesterday, sitting in her nest just outside oupr front door. So tiny, so precious, so hidden, so still, so miraculous, amazing.... We will leave a note for the new owners... hopefully they can keep the tree safe until they are done with the nest.
Singing to the robin that keeps visiting, like mom would when we were kids, "Robin, Robin red breast".., which she also sang to me (Robin aka Roberta). I kerp feeling mom's presence when rhe robin is around.
Ok, time to get out the door...

Thursday, April 28, 2016

Moving day #2

That's right, a 2nd moving day. We weren't ready to move everything this time last week. O we are at it again. And, still, there are things not packed yet. I so do not want to end up moving carloads after today, so about to go over and go crazy trying to pack what's left.
I have to respect my sister: she is so committed to preserving family history that she is taking many boxes of family photos, letters, papers, and so on, to continue to sort and cull and divy up. Similarly with my brother. It's an immense task, and in reality cannot be rushed. Lots has been trimmed, but much remains. I am not sentimental, so don't have the same connection. I have also done so much therapy around family that I don't need things to anchor me. I have a few, of course, but they'd fit in a box.
It would be easy for me to be impatient, and be frustrated with all the stuff, but what's the point?
Granted, I will be somewhat surrounded, as my sister will be staying with me for some time... but what will be will be.
I am respectful of the history of families, and am grateful for the archivists of times past. So can understand much of it.
And so it is that the girl who downsized to a dozen boxes 7 years ago is now moving multiple truckloads of stuff. Trying to stay detached and not get overwhelmed.
Ok, enough rambling. Time to get over to the house to ready as much as I can for today's truck!

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

The me that is me

Today, in a stationary store, I recognized myself. I felt like the me I used to be. No, not going back in time, but feeling the essence of the me that is me, in the me of me today, or in the me of me that I will be tomorrow. Or next week. On the other side of this transition.
I recognized the way I move, the way I move through my day, going from a to b as the me who is me. I didn't know what I was missing, but that was it, is it. The me that is me. 

Today I opened a journal, looking for notes on something for the move, and I found my journa entry from the night mom passed away. Oh, up, up and away, sweet momma.

I also found my journal entry from just a few days prior, when Maui rallied and started eating, on the day I thought we would need to put him down. And we deferred it. He was cuddled in my lap, and I marveled. And I wrote about how Maui taught me to never give up. That he did.

I am not giving up on finding the me that is me again, even if I'm not the same me anymore. How could I be? I am all filled up with momma love and Maui love. And even now that they no longer sit here with me, they are a big part of the me that is me.

I put a picture of Maui in my new apartment yesterday, where he can watch over me.

I no longer just have hope that this will be over, i know it will, and I can see myself on the other side. I ferl myself. There.

The me that is me feels a bit of glee!

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

Thinking about writing retreats

I found a writing retreat in a little Italian
hill town Castiglion Fiorentino!
creative commons image bramhall/Flickr
Lately I've been mulling about for ideas to re-kickstart my creativity. As I like to write, I've started thinking about going on a writing retreat. For me, it's more about the experience and the destination, and the shared inspiration, than the structure itself, so I had fun looking at where I could go.
I ended up creating a blog post about my findings:

Travelling to write: 5 writing retreats

Here are 5 writing retreats that made me want to pack my bags... [read the rest on my Travels with Roberta blog].

Listening to suicide

Not mine, or any thoughts thereof... but reflecting on a very interesting interview on suicide on The Current. The story is around our new right to die legislation, and whether those with mental illness should be given this option. I sat in my car to listen to the end of an interview with Graeme Bayless, a rather brilliant twentysomething young man with clinical depression arguing for this option.
All this while Canada is reeling from the surge in First Nations teen suicides (the Attawapiskat suicide emergency), such a tragic situation. The panel discussing the interview, and putting it in context, offered some interesting perspectives.

What's on my mind as I am listening is my friends who have been suicidal - including what it's like to be on the other end of the phone when a friend is suicidal. I've learnt the textbook things to say, but they sound so hollow at the time, and one feels so helpless. I won't say more here, but I am thinking about these people. I was also thinking about friends and acquaintances who have taken their lives.
And the evening I supported a friend whose brother had just taken his own life. And who have I impacted, positively or negatively, when they were in such a state, unbeknownst to me.

Heavy stuff, and not what I am normally reflecting on, but it's all part of this world we live in. A reminder that we never know what is going on for someone, what their private pain is, and the difference one can play in just being there, or how we respond.

I will continue to listen to these debates and explorations, I am learning a lot, from different perspectives.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Chaos and the art of moving

A favourite moment from Paris
(I began looking at my "big trip" photos today, after about 5 years)
I have been trying hard to blog daily for this month, encouraged in part by the 30 day challenge I am participating in, but I can't say it's not a stretch. It was only coincidence that this coincided with the month of the biggest most chaotic move of my life. But perhaps that is the beauty in it.

Yesterday, did the big move, although the smaller secondary move next week will turn out to be as big as the first. That's partly giving up on being entirely ready -- I fought hard against it, then wept, then surrendered -- and partly because there is so much involved. So much stuff, so many moving parts, so many old family memories to sort through, so many other people involved, so much pure junk, and so on. Not complaining (not really), just a little stunned (and aghast) to be involved in such a chaotic move that has become so overwhelming.

Yet, today is an oasis of calm for me. I am here at my new place - the same place I have been for 3 months (though initially just with a bed) - surrounded by furniture and boxes. My sister is back at mom's house, surrounded by the leftovers and the true remaining chaos (I do feel for her on that front!), while I am here, sorting out from yesterday. And this is the part of moving I enjoy.

What? I enjoy the aching muscles and total exhaustion? No, of course not, but I slotted today in as a transition day, to make order of the arriving chaos (which is actually pretty orderly at this point), and to recover. I must have had 3 or 4 long naps today, interspersed with moving things around, cleaning (furniture was moved with the old dust!), and getting my head around the best way to organize things.

I love this part, perhaps even more so, as it is my first place in almost 7 years, and it feels so good to have my own space, and to be able to put my stamp on it, organize it how I want it, enjoy the puttering and creativity that comes with the sorting and setting up. Literally, putting my house in order.

And, no, I did not unpack today. In my opinion, people are obsessed with unpacking. Me, today I needed rest (it has been hell), as I work tomorrow (my only day in about 3 weeks), so need to be awake and together for that. And there is more hell challenging moving to come until the end of the month until the move is complete, and the house turned over. Also, my sister will be moving in with me for the foreseeable future, so this is my 1 day alone here, just to be. So it has been, and is, golden.

There will be plenty of time for unpacking later. For now, just the opportunity to sit at my own beautiful desk for the first time in years (it got lost in the chaos of the house), situated just where I want it, looking out my own window, with flowers on my desk, looking out the sliding glass doors, and listening to the last few birds of the day chirping... all this is bliss.

Now if only I'd thought ahead to make sure I had a bottle of wine!

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Lost in a loss of control

Holding on by a thread this morning.

So much pressure on me to get us moved from my mom's house, but everywhere I turn to do something I can't. Stuff that is still undecided. Stuff that is being re-decided. Stuff that needs something done to it first. The decisions aren't mine, but the burden is.

I've made things "easy" for myself by not having an attachment to stuff, but it also leaves without a voice, or a way to move things forward. Packing up a house with a fragile soul is no easy journey. I actually have no problem speaking up for myself, but in this circumstance, doing so works against me. But it is sooooooo draining. It sucks my energy.

I thought I'd been doing ok, but yesterday it got to me. My frustration spilled over at the rather-dense MacDonald's drive through guy this morning, my reaction to his stupidity (he couldn't figure out the difference between oatmeal/porridge and oatmeal cookies, hilarious if i wasn't being such a bitch).

A big eyeopener for me, as it's been years since I left carnage on the souls of the poor folk who came into contact with me when I had unresolved issues bubbling below the surface (pre-therapy days, oh how obvious it is in retrospect to see that something was wrong).

 I have to apologize to that MacDonald's guy next time I drive through.

And I have to have an outlet for my frustrations before I melt down. One wrong word from me here, and that would upset the applecart to the point of an applesauce catastrophe. Ha ha.

I was near tears when I arrived here this morning, but writing has done it's trick. I have perspective. I've gotten it out. Now I'll be able to cope without my emotions spilling over.

I may still be craving for this to be over, but it's ok. Somehow it's ok.

Monday, April 18, 2016

Blog consolidation

In the process of managing content for the 30 day writing challenge I am participating in, I had an ah-ha moment that will allow me to consolidate my various blogs. Hurrah!

So, for today, I spent a bit of time getting started with my new Travels With Roberta Blog.