Sales girl

I am still a little surprised to discover how much I am enjoying working in sales. I wasn't really expecting that. I was pretty sure I'd do fine, but actually really enjoy it? That's a nice surprise!

Of course, the product (travel) is so interesting. I get to meet all sots of people, from first time cruisers to intrepid world travellers. And I have the privilege of helping them plan their explorations and vacations, pursuing their dreams.
I have great fun watching my sales, as I work to achieve my sales targets, weathering both the ups and downs. Ups = bookings. Downs = cancellations. I can also see my overall ranking in the company, so it's a little like leap frog along the way.
One of the things I was able to do early on, for the most part, is to separate the 'sale' from the person I am helping. Sure, they're connected, but I consciously don't allow myself to think about, or look at, the commission I will receive from each booking. Sure, there will be a commission, that's how I am paid... but my entire focus is on the client, and their trip, and helping them navigate which cruise / tour / flights / hotel / etc is best for them.
And I have learned not to take non-bookings and cancellations personally. It's gotta be water off a duck's back, or you're hooped.
I also figure out if I do the opposite of these things, it brings an sense of desperation into the equation. And who wants a salesperson who is desperate for the sale?!? I sure don't. I have worked with a couple of people who get caught up in this, and I find I have to separate myself from their negativity.
It's all about service to me.... which makes looking at my sales later, or using a different part of my brain, so much fun.
That's all just a preamble to where I am at today, just 1 or 2 bookings short of hitting my stretch sales target goal for 2016.
It will be a fun couple days, wish me luck!

Sugar cookies

Today it caught me off guard.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been enjoying many-a-treat from colleagues and clients. No problem. And I've weathered the Christmas season without grief. Maybe a bit of sadness, missing mom, but mostly relaxing with fond memories. Even that was a huge shift for me.

So I wasn't expecting anything.

Then, today, with a bite of a snowflake cookie (very tasty) from a colleague, I had this sudden flash of mom's sugar cookie and shortbread. It took my breath away. And brought tears to my eyes.

Had to go in the back for a little cry.

Mom had all these little metal (aluminum?) cookie cutters, rolling around in a drawer, and this time of year, the same shapes would appear in cookie form, dotted with little red and green sprinkles: the star, the gingerbread man, the snowman, the Santa... Most of my mom memories are recent ones, but this is one from long ago, the taste of a cookie evoking childhood slivers of memory.

The struggle is still there. The pull between missing mom, and moving n. The dance between terrible grief and an accepting sadness shored up by love. The hole in my heart versus my heart bursting with love and appreciation for mom. How can I be all these things at once? How can I be of two hearts?

Overall, I'm good. My energy is on the side of acceptance and joy at how lucky I have been, and how grateful I am for mom, especially those last few years together.

But still, grief lingers. Or wafts. In and out. Strong and at bay. Never really gone, but no longer dominating.

It is less than a week until the anniversary of mom's passing (New Year's Eve), so I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.

But I'd fooled myself by doing ok. I forgot about how grief pounces. How it just erupts, when are least expecting it.

Except I supposed I should have expected it. Because I do still miss her so...

Ah, life is a journey.

Back to my day as a travel agent. I have quotes to do! Mom would love that. 

Christmas surprise

Me in Aix-en-Provence

(but not at Christmas)

Surprised to find myself listening to Christmas music, all day. Enjoying it. I don't even want to watch a movie, because I don't want to break the zone that I am in. This would not be odd for other people, but it is indeed unusual for me.

More than that, I've been actually enjoying Christmas music for weeks, even having it turned on in the office when I am the only one there (!). But the music today on CBC is so lovely, what a lovely mix.

My relationship with Christmas has been through such ups and downs, such highs, and such miserable downs, to barely tolerating, to doing ok with it. But comfortable and relaxed, and listening to seasonal music is a new one.

It occurs to me that I am not grieving, as much, this year, as I was last year. What a difficult time the last couple years were, and having mom's passing coincide with the holidays made my grief just so pronounced.

In fact, I don't feel like I am grieving this year. Sure, when I think of mom, I tear up and I miss her terribly, but I mostly just feel the blessings of her love, and the gifts we both experienced spending the last stage of her life together. It was a good full circle. I miss her, but I don't mourn. Love you mom!

As a kid, family Christmases were good, and I have many fond memories. Lately, I've even let myself think about them.

In my 20's I was over-the-top into Christmas, I would make myself sick if I was like that today! People who knew me then would never believe that I stopped celebrating Christmas. Oh, and my poor family... I was a royal pain-in-the-ass, "making" everyone send me their Christmas lists weeks in advance, which I would reproduce and mail out (bleh), sorry about that.

Anyways, Christmas was something I loved, and was pretty central to my life, so when I started to deal with difficult family issues, causing me to step away from the family for a period, the "loss" of Christmas was like an open wound. I was a tortured soul, lost without an anchor, no idea of how to be in the world through the season. I bounced from trying to get in the spirit, to deep days of despair, totally lost. I just wanted to get to January. I've never been one to feel lonely, but I felt so alone, and lonely, that first year.

I remember walking the Stanley Park seawall on Christmas Day, forlorn and confused. Earlier that day, as my therapist was on vacation, I'd gone to see a new therapist, just the one time, for support, to help me get through the day. That turned out to be a be a bad decision. This new therapist knew nothing about me, and in the process of bringing her up to speed, she latched onto something and took me down a rabbit hole. I was already dealing with a lot, but that day she layered on a worry that I was an alcoholic (I wasn't). So, I walked that seawall with a great big cloud over me. Instead of helping me with a difficult day, I'd gotten myself more confused. It took a call to my regular therapist a few days later to get back on track.

From there, it didn't get better, but at least it couldn't get worse. Well, maybe it did. When I eventually dealt with my family issues head on, bringing skeletons out of the closet, speaking out about all that happened to me (for another day, or just ask me), the world shifted for me, and for my whole family. I don't regret how I had to deal with it - I wouldn't be myself today if I hadn't - I had to do what I had to do - I still regret the pain it caused others. So Christmases were hell for a few years, and not just for me. The act of saving myself left waves of sadness and loss all around me.

So, yeah, Christmas was pretty miserable for me. It became a season to just get through. I'd waffle between finding new ways to celebrate, to avoiding it all together.

Giving up gifting and giving to charities instead wasn't too hard. Figuring out what to do with myself was a different story. I often thought I would volunteer, but always checked into it too late, so I just had to get through it.

The pain was so much that from about October until January1st, I was miserable. And I got more and more miserable the closer it got.

So, yeah, no Christmas music, no gifts, no tree, no nothing... until I figured out a new way to be.

Eventually, I made peace with it, I guess, and I created my own private rituals: walks, reading, movies, treats, a day just for me. It was never really pleasurable, but I tolerated it.

Me serving Christmas dinner in Athens

The first time I sort-of celebrated Christmas again was when I was in Greece with my sister. We didn't make a big deal of it, but I got into the spirit, really for her sake, but was blessed to find myself warming, and enjoying the seasonal interlude.

Bringing Christmas cheer to mom in Glengarry

Fast forward to the very next year, and I was living with mom. She wasn't big on Christmas any more, but enjoyed having family around, fun treats, I made her a stocking, watched Christmas specials, and enjoyed turkey dinner from Chef on the Run. It was ok. I essentially put my Grinch in the closet, to make things special for her. A few family would come, which was interesting, being around Christmas and gifts again, but I seemed to get through it ok. Shed my demons and got into it with mom, and started to have fun. I remembering telling my sister that I enjoyed the Christmas lights that year, and she was pretty shocked. This leopard changed her spots.

Mom and I had a nice little rhythm with Christmas, both those years I lived with her, then later when she was living in residential care, where I'd bring things in, and join her for Christmas dinner. I never minded, because it gave her joy, and I was relieved to find I still had a heart in there. Ha. That's an  understatement. The last 7 years have made me into a softie (in a good way) ~ singing with mom, and playing with a cat who adopted me ~ I opened my heart. It was time.

So, last year, was ok, sad because it was coming up to the anniversary of mom's passing (she had died the previous New Year's Eve), but relaxing with my sister. Only a bit of a Grinch. Nothing outward to celebrate, but was ok with the goings on with my sister and niece, presents and pajamas, and all that. I got through it ok, but can't say it was a good year. Such a difficult time, did ok, but that's all I can say.

Now, this year, low and behold, I am enjoying Christmas music. Who knew?

My sister is in Vancouver, cat sitting for her daughter, so we both have apartments to ourselves for the season (bliss). Its been months since I had any time alone, so that's helping me get grounded again. And, surprise, here I find myself with my first Christmas alone in 8 years.

Didn't think about enjoying it or not, it just "was". Made sure I had lots of food, and a few treats, but that's about it.

Imagine my surprise to be actually enjoying my day. It's been decades, really, since I didn't have a cloud of darkness around me.

So, I like Christmas music.

I like Christmas lights.

I have been saying Merry Christmas.

I am not waiting for it to be over.

I am enjoying the interlude.

Quiet day

It's a quiet day here, but a good one. I decided to work at the office, as you never know when a world cruise will walk through the door. Ha! This is traditionally a very quiet day, but you really do never know when someone wants to buy the gift of travel. More likely, someone needs travel insurance (one today), phone calls for other agents (several messages passed on), or someone dropping by (one of my clients, how delightful, with a card and little thank you gift!). In between, I am getting a lot of work done. Half of that is cruise work, the other half is my more creative endeavors and social media. And between the work, I confess to a nice long read of the newspaper, and sneaking left over treats from around the office. I am about to turn the neon shingle off, but reflecting that it was a good day, and it was nice to be out on such a nice day. Next, home to a quiet evening of doodling, or reading, or Christmas movies, accompanied by vodka and Fresca (maybe without the Fresca). But not too much, as I am keeping my virtual shingle on!
Cheers to all.

Ho ho ho art

This year's seasonal doodle, hand drawn by me. Have a good one!
Cheers,
Roberta

I rest my case against "clickbait"

Inspired by a Lonely Planet article today, Stinge Henge: eight alternative ancient stone monuments, I  have been learning about the Ring of Brodgar.

I admit that it was my dislike of the article's "Stinge Henge" title that made me click the link. I suppose I was ready to wag my virtual finger at LP, mocking their use of the title.

The truth is I actually got lost, after I went to Wikipedia to find a Creative Commons image I could find to accompany my tweet. I found myself deep into learning about this particular henge.

Proving, of course, that clickbait works. Would I have even read the article if it didn't have the annoying title? Very possibly not.

I rest my own case against clickbait. I guess I've crossed over to the other side now.

PS. I am now writing a blog post about the Ring of Brodgar for my cruisetravelbug blog... I'll return here to post a link when its published.

Related resources
Stinge Henge: eight alternative ancient stone monuments - LonelyPlanet
WTF is Clickbait - TechCrunch
You’ll Be Outraged at How Easy It Was to Get You to Click on This Headline - Wired

Something I am passionate about...

... is kindness.

It seems, perhaps, an unusual passion, considering the vitriol of the recent American election. Or perhaps it makes perfect sense. But for me, kindness is at the heart of living peacefully in this world.

A little bit of kindness goes a long way. A very looong way.

I haven't always understood this. It was a lesson learned the hard way.

I've made my share of mistakes, I've had moments of acting out in a way that could not seem to be anything but unkind, even if that wasn't the intent. Until I took a close look at myself, and did some personal work, I often wasn't even aware of the impact of myself on others.

I am grateful that I learned those lessons.

But I slowly came to see that kindness is something I value, perhaps more than anything else.


You can't be respectful, if you aren't kind.

If you are kind, it's not hard to be respectful.

You can't be generous, if you aren't kind. Generosity without kindness is not sincere.

You can't be sincere, if you aren't kind. If you are kind, sincerity flows naturally.

Today I realize that kindness is something I value, perhaps more than anything else.

If you're kind,

And it's kindness of thought that matters, just not actions.

If you aren't compassionate, there isn't a l


Long ago, before I got to the root of it, I had streaks where I my impatience, frustration or anger would overwhelm me, and my interactions with the world were not always kind.

In retrospect, it makes complete sense that once I took care of some personal issues (therapy is a good thing!), I didn't have unresolved issues overflowing into the world around me.

I have learned from the kindness of others, those who have extended kindness to me, even when I didn't seem to be responding in kind.

Lessons also came to me in just observing others.

those who accept an apology gracefully

We are all on different paths in this world, and you never know what the person you are interacting with is going through. You have no idea what a difference a kind word can make. You may never know. But it is an easier world to get through, if you just give a little kindness.



I have come to understand the value of kindness

I live by this rule on a daily basis, and it's not often anymore that I give it much thought. It seems to come naturally to me.

Not that long ago though, when overwhelmed with the task of closing down my late mother's home, and moving, I lost my patience in a McDonald's drive through. The lack of the ability of the person to understand my simple request, brought out the worst of me. I not only felt bad, but I felt compelled to make it right. Lucky for me, I was able to return to the drive through the next morning, and was able to get the same employee, so I had an opportunity to apologize. This person, who'd I'd never seen smile much in the past, broke into the biggest grin, was so grateful, and showered me with kindness.

"GO" and the social media lexicon

I just witnessed a couple of people jump all over someone for using "GO" as a discussion starter in a Facebook community. I saw the question, and was curious about what responses it solicited, but was surprised to see the thread highjacked over the way the question was asked. The judgers blasted her for adding the word "GO" after her question, calling it rude and unprofessional. Their very reaction made it obvious that they had little or no social media exposure beyond The Facebook Bubble, as this is a relatively common way to kick off brainstorming. The woman who innocently asked the question is probably quite taken aback by the reaction, and may never ask a question again! I see that the moderator has tried to reign things in, but the damage has been done.

If you only live in the bubble, that's ok (though I'm glad it's not me), but be gentle on others, and don't be so quick to judge. If you see a term or approach like this used multiple times (I gather this isn't the first time they've got their knickers in a knot about this), p-a-u-s-e, and get curious.

Get curious. Ask yourself what is going on that you aren't aware of? If people are starting to use jargon, or communicate in a certain way, it's a CLUE. Notice the pattern. Get curious.

Instead of getting your back up and hijacking the discussion, why not reflect on what you observe, as in, "Interesting, another person has asked a question, then typed GO, what's up with that? I thought at first it was rude, or even unprofessional, but now that I've heard it again, I wonder if I am missing something.... Is that how people are initiating discussions these days? It must be coming from somewhere, but it's new to me. I don't really like it, but I can't control it, so I may as well ignore it, and focus instead on what the person asked..." Or something like that.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What do you think?

By the way, it's not lost on me that I am judging the judgers here. I love irony.

I've started hunting down something written on the use of "GO" in this context... In the meantime, I'm finding some other resources on social media terms, which I've posted below,


Social Media Glossary - Agility PR
The Definitive List of Social Media Acronyms and Abbreviations, Defined - Buffer Social
The Social Media Glossary: 226 Essential Definitions - Hootsuite
Social Media Glossary: Top 100 Words and Phrases - Socialbrite

Where I grew up

I was applying for a writing gig recently, and was asked to write a couple of paragraphs about where I grew up. I had to do it off the top of my head, with no time to think about it, just using a few prompts, so I thought I would save it.

I grew up in Valleyview, a subdivision of Kamloops, in the interior of British Columbia. As kids, we were free to amuse ourselves outdoors, and there was a great gang of kids. Our house was situated at the foot of steep clay "cliffs" (they were hills really), covered with sagebrush. We spent countless hours had climbing the hills behind the houses across the street, hiding behind the sagebrush and spying down at the people below.

One of my favourite things to do was ride my bike to the drive-in theatre and to meet my friends and hang out. At night, we would try to watch the movies through the fence, always hopeful that we'd hear the soundtrack from a car with the speakers turned up loud, but mostly just heard random bits of conversation or music when someone opened a car door. During the day we could go right in, where we'd look for coins in the grass and play with the speakers, though we heard only static.

We practically lived outside, right down to the picnic table in the backyard where we ate most of our meals. We'd often have sweet, juicy watermelon for dessert and, being outdoors, it was the perfect place to spit watermelon seeds at each other. Sadly, my big brother had a much better aim. But still, I tried. No wonder our mom wanted us to eat outdoors!