Friday, April 01, 2016

My best April Fool's joke ever

I can't tell a joke. I think it's probably because I don't lie, can't really, I don't have a poker face. How I feel about what I am saying is written all over my face (or so I'm told). When I attempt to tease someone or play a trick with a little white lie, it's like I'm breaking in to reveal the truth before the words are out of my mouth.
So, April Fool Day is something I can enjoy all around me, but I can rarely intentionally participate in - unless you count switching sugar/salt and sewing together jacket sleeves (my mom's trick from childhood).
So it was when, in 2010, I pulled one over on my sister. Freshly back from Europe, I was living temporarily in a furnished apartment in downtown Vancouver, and feeling carefree and open as to what the next stage of my life would bring. Feeling emboldened by the positive outcome of several cases of recent risktaking, I had an idea, acted on a whim, and phoned my sister.
I owe my success to the fact that she couldn't see my face, and I was able to walk around to quiet any urge I had to break the spell. That, and the fact I wasn't known for trickery.
"OMG, I can't believe what I just did!!!!!!"
"What?" "I cut my hair! Really short!!!" "How short?!" "I shaved my head!!!!!" "Whaat? You did what!!?!" "I didn't mean to! It just happened!" "How does that just happen!?!?!" OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!" "Oh my." "Oh shit (shrieking!), I can't believe I did that!" "What happened?" "You know I've been dying to cut my hair, so I walked into a place on Davie Street and they fit me in right away. I said I wanted it short!" "You got more than short!!!"" I know, I didn't mean to. But when I saw the razor, I said, just shave it all off! I guess that's not so strange of a request around here, so after asking a couple of times if I was sure (I said I was), she went ahead, and in a flash it was over. Done! Just like that! It doesn't take that long when they don't have to fuss. And I walked out with a bald head! Freaky!!! OMG. It feels so strange...." "Oh my goodness. Well, I am sure they did a good job." "I probably look like a freak!" "Oh no, I'm sure you look good, you have a nice shaped head." "I do?" "Oh, yes, I've always thought so." "Weird, I've never thought of the shape of my head." "Well, I guess you will now." "Guess so. LOL. What about jobs, how am I going to get a job!?!?" "You'll fit right in there!" "Gack! Maybe, but what if it's a corporate job?!? "Maybe you can get a wig." "OMG! Oh shit, what have I done?!?" "Oh my goodness." "It's ok though, it'll grow back, it'll just be very short." "It'll probably grow back patchy, you'll need to get it trimmed a lot." "I will?" "If not, then you will look a little, strange..." "OMG OMG...."
Or something like that. In the end, I was able to string her along for about 15 minutes, and it was a blast. I was so PROUD of myself. Sooo much fun. It took that long for her to process it all, before she made the connection.
... "Wait, what's the date... Is this April 1st? Is this April Fool's? ...." And finally, I fessed up.
HA HA!!!! We've laughed about it every year since then. And I still get so much joy from such a simple prank!
I wonder what I might get up to this year....

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